A Bored Goddess

In the heavens, there lived a goddess. This goddess was horribly, terribly, insanely BORED!!! She had things she should have been doing, but they were boring, so she was bored with doing them. What goddess could possibly be so bored? What goddess could possibly get bored with being a goddess? What goddess could possibly be in her right mind to get bored? Farore, that’s who.

Farore’s eyes were cerulean blue. Her luminescent green hair flowed to her shoulders, her bangs parted so that they fell on either side of her face. Across her forehead was a gold circlet with three tear-like gems the same color as Farore’s eyes. Her ears were tall and pointed, and her skin was as fair as possible. Around her neck was a golden necklace with three more tear-like gems. She wore a jade green shirt with see-through emerald green sleeves that were parted along a vertical line opposite each other. On her hands were jade green gloves that were cut off at the fingers and were connected to solid gold bracers that half-way up her arms. Her shirt had a bright green Phoenix Triforce design. She wore three layers of clothes to cover up her upper legs. A pair of deep green, short pants cut off just below the knees was covered by a soft green skirt cut on her right side which was covered by a transparent, silky, bright green cloth. Her sandals, just as her bracers, were golden and went up half-way to her knees.

Well, as any bored girl with a few sisters might do, she went to her sisters to see who was doing what. Din or Nayru had to be doing something more interesting than watching grass grow. That was exactly what Farore had been doing. Literally.

(If you want, I will describe Din and the others, sure, but… come on, look at them for a few moments!)

Farore’s mother was watching over the flow of time, so Farore popped in on Din, the eldest of the three sisters, the Goddess of Power, and watched her play with some clay. Din’s color theme was red. Din was making a new tribe of mini-Gorons, or so they looked like. Upon closer inspection, Farore noticed the “mini-Gorons” did not have the rocky backs of their counterparts, among other small differences.

“Hey there, sis, what’s up?”

“Well, my grass is growing…”

“Yeah, as it always is. Is there anything else?”

“No.”

“So… why not try this? It’s fun to play around with such things… I bet you could do something creative with leaves, or grass, or the berries…”

“I’ll think about the leaves and grass, but a people made of berries? That’s…”

Din shrugged, smiling. “Anyway, I don’t know if I want to keep these… Keep bored so I can call on you when they’re ready, okay?”

Farore sighed and walked away. “I doubt that will be hard.”

Next, the bored goddess who, physically, looked to be twenty years old, went to her equally aged sister, Nayru. Nayru’s color theme was blue.

“Hello, sister.” Farore had not even knocked on the door when Nayru’s all-knowing voice welcomed her in.

“You’re going to really scare somebody one of these days, Nayru…” Farore commented as she walked into her sister’s room in the heavens. The Goddess of Wisdom was sitting at one end of a chess board, a serene and simple expression on her face.

“I already have, actually.”

“Hehe… Well, I guess you want a chess match?”

“You’re the only one who has yet to learn it, so I suppose that, in your boredom, you might learn?”

“Sure, why not?” Farore smiled as she sat opposite her sister and they began their match. The two discussed things of minor relevance to anything other than simple gossip, and Farore lost in two turns. Farore had moved her Pawn at C2 to C4, and Nayru moved her Pawn at D7 to D5. The next turn, Farore moved her King from D1 to E2, and Nayru called Check-mate by moving her Bishop at C8 to G4.

“Sorry Nayru, but perhaps you should have been paying more attention to your moves? Remember, the King is more important than the Queen.” Farore had always mixed the two up.

“Oh, right, thank you for the lesson, Nayru. I’ll go see what the others are up to, I suppose.”

“Yes, I assumed you might.” At that, Nayru reached under the table, pulled out a book, and began to read nonchalantly. “Good-bye, and pop by again in three hours; I suspect you’ll either still be bored, or you’ll have found someone else to gossip with.”

“And you tend to be right, Nayru…” With that, Farore left, closing the door silently. She could remember the last time she had slammed the door after losing in a chess match to Nayru. Actually, that was after losing thirteen chess matches in a row.

Volvagia and Seiryu had very simple color schemes: Volvagia liked the color red, and Seiryu the color purple. Seiryu was the Shadow God, and Volvagia the Fire God. Now, Volvagia had the prankster nature, enjoying the art of the prank more than any other individual in time… Okay, maybe not more than any individual, but most any. Volvagia had often pondered how to best irritate Seiryu, and he thought he finally had it.

“Hey there, Seiryu!”

“Oh, hello Volva-” That’s all the Shadow God had time to say before he was slammed in the face with a mud ball. He fell to the ground, err, clouds, with a dazed look. Who else would do such a thing? “Volvagia! You’ve had this coming to you for a while now!” Seiryu stooped low, picking up a bit of the cloud floor, curling it into a ball, and with his magic transformed it into mud.

This time, Farore decided on a less… simple entrance. She was a goddess, after all, and should have been treated as one. She appeared in an emerald light, glowing radiantly for a moment. In the raging mud ball war, both of the combatants had barely been hit by any mud, and Seiryu’s face had already been wiped clean of the first shot. His mud ball had already been loosed before Farore entered, and a collision with the sparkly goddess was imminent.

SPLAT

Farore was not a happy Goddess of Courage. She left after yelling swears, insults, derogatory remarks, and everything else she had overheard from her various observations of her siblings’ rivalries. She had no idea what even three of them meant, but she was angry at having her fanciest clothes ruined like they were. She obviously did not notice the unusually silent Volvagia, who stood right behind her.

Seiryu stood there, one finger raised, ready to apologize the second his sister took a second to breathe, but that never happened. She, upon the end of her insult spree, vanished.

“… You got yelled at by Farore.” Seiryu lowered his head at his brother’s jokey taunting, which continued throughout the day.

Farore’s next decision, after magically cleaning her clothes, was to go check up on Jabun, the God of Water. Obviously, his color scheme was navy blue. He was asleep when the bored Farore came to see him, and… boredom makes people irrational. “Jabun, why are you sleeping on such a lovely day?”

“Because, sister, the entirety of the world has lost its luster; Ganondorf spoiled it.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, Ganondorf destroyed the world, and the Sages are so very slow about restoring it. Certainly, the other tribes, and most notably MY Zoras, are making amends to the world, but if the Sages had done their duty, this sort of thing would not have happened. It is the Sage’s duty to-” he continued for about an hour of monologue. Farore felt she was going to die of boredom. Her brother’s voice was not as elegant as her sister’s, and he had a monologue.

“Well, as interesting as this has been, brother, I really must be going.”

“Another thing, you siblings of mine are so preoccupied and boring that it’s not even funny. It’s-” And he was back to the dreaded monologue for another twenty minutes.

Farore stood up and slowly walked out of his room, and at the door, she declared loudly, “Oh, and Nayru would probably like to play chess with you.” She then left, letting Jabun monologue the possibilities of him beating Nayru in a chess match. He eventually decided he had a 2% chance of victory.

Farore, while counting how many siblings she had on her fingers, decided that she may as well go check on the arrogant Sunare, the Goddess of Desert. “Hello Sunare!”

“Oh, hey Farore. What brings the Life-bringer to my lovely deserts?”

“I’m bored and want to talk, to put it bluntly,” Farore stated. She had tried every other approach with her other siblings, so… she wanted to be direct for a change.

“Well, you should have talked to ME first, you know. I’m the very best person up here, better even than Din, at having a good conversation. I’m always willing to start a conversation with anyone, but the others? Bah! They’re all just a bunch of idiots, especially those boys. They wouldn’t know what was good if it smacked them across the head with a spear, and I should know!” After that, it was a continuation of Sunare talking about how many flaws their siblings had and how few Sunare apparently had. But all that Farore heard was, “Blah, blah, blah, rant, rant, rant.”

“Hey! I know what you could do to show your superiority.” At this Sunare paused in her constant chatter. “Remember how almost nobody can ever beat Sister Nayru in chess? Well, if you can beat her, then everyone will recognize how superior you are!”

“… That’s brilliant! I knew there was a reason I decided to talk to you!” At that Sunare, got up and tore off, waving good-bye with a “Catch ya later!” kind of wave.

“Bye, and thanks for curing absolutely no part of my boredom.” Farore sighed. “Well, that leaves just Koboku, I think… Why doesn’t he ever come to the heavens? It doesn’t make any sense to me. Ah well, no point in not seeing how he is.” So, after checking on her grass, which was growing slowly and boringly, Farore went to the forest. She was stunned by all the life everywhere; she had not been there since Ganondorf’s reign began.

A squirrel ran up Farore’s legs and onto her shoulder, rubbing its fuzzy cheeks against her neck.

“Aww, aren’t you the cutest little thing?” the Goddess of Courage asked as she stroked the tiny squirrel in the back of its neck. Farore then continued forward, scanning every inch of the vibrant forest for every kind of life; this was where she knew she would go to stop being bored forevermore… No wonder her brother enjoyed it here.

“Oh, hey there Farore!” She looked around, and noticed she had apparently already passed into his Sacred Grove. “I take it you want to either look around or talk to me?” The small Deku Sprout asked. He was Koboku, the God of the Forests, in at least one way. Koboku was housing his spirit within the small plant, which was already over three feet tall.

“I came, actually, for the latter, yes.” Farore paused, looking around. “How did Koboku manage to bring back the forests’ vitality so quickly? Not even a year has passed since Ganondorf’s sealing…”

“Oh, you know him and his kids: everybody pitched in. Together, they made the forest bright as ever, and now even the territorial ‘beasts’ of the forest are coming out of hiding to help us… Can you imagine the fun it brings to my children when they get to ride a Wolfos bareback, or fly alongside a Deku Scrub, or play Tag with a bunch of Skull Kids? It’s not money that makes the world go ‘round. It’s happiness.”

“I believe you must be right. And boredom makes it all stop.” The two of them laughed, brother and sister, and she checked on him at least once a day every day, and even helped the Kokiri and their newfound friends with their forest-growing.